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Dating Movies – Observing Relationship Behaviors – On and Off the Big Screen

So, you have found a new potential partner. Items on your lists of requirements, needs, and wants are being observed and compared. You ask a lot of questions, he / she asks a lot of questions. You talk and talk about your experiences, points of view and notions. However, some people can actually “speak what is being said”, but walk a completely different path. What someone says about their values ​​and beliefs may not be as accurate as how they react or respond to real life experiences. So how can you organize an experience so that you can observe the reactions?

The film industry has provided thousands of opportunities to observe the dynamics of people’s lives and relationships from a small distance. And they’ve gotten really good at presenting stories that evoke our emotional involvement, making movies a multi-dimensional experience. Watching a movie together and observing our reactions and thoughts on the stories, events and characters provides a lot of information about each other in just two hours. And there is a wealth of information to be gained beyond the plot or content of the movies.

Movies can highlight many issues in life’s circumstances that are important to us, but often go unnoticed in the early stages of new relationship development. You can select content in the movie that may raise issues that are important to you (ie, fidelity, children, careers, alternative relationship structures, etc.). You can choose movie genres that demonstrate levels of risk-taking, humorous styles, or intellectual effort. You can choose movies that reflect values ​​that are important to you, allowing you to observe your potential partner’s response to those values. At the very least, you can enjoy a no-compromise evening with a movie that you know you will enjoy.

The next time you watch a movie together, you might consider making it more than fun – see if the following suggestions / questions about movie choices and behavior can add a third dimension to your movie experience.

Decision / Action Style – When planning a movie date, who chooses which movie to watch? When you disagree on a single movie title, who makes the final decision? How is it negotiated or compromised? And what happens if one person gives up to appease the other? This “conflict” can provide an opportunity to see a preview of how you and your partner might resolve the conflict in the future.

Personality / Values ​​- In deciding what to watch, each of you will have a chance to examine the types of movies the other person enjoys. For example, some people are only interested in romantic comedies, other only in shooter action movies. As you and your partner identify which movies you are considering, you can also notice what your choice of movie might be saying about each of you. Do you prefer intellectual films, antics, mysteries, documentaries, art films, etc.? What is it about the type of movie you like that provides evidence of style or personality values?

Personal growth – Can you or your date get value / enjoyment from a movie even if it’s not your favorite genre? Can you imagine that the character’s experience or challenges can be useful in your own life? The ability to appreciate a story, conflict, or circumstance that is seemingly unrelated to one’s experience or understanding could demonstrate a commitment to a larger vision, more expansive thinking, and a willingness to give sixteen a chance for a new one. experience.

Behavior clues – Can your partner focus on the movie? Do you make frequent interruptions to get attention? Although you may not be able to define specific behavior, you may find yourself feeling upset during this little two-hour experience. Are you ready for life?

Obviously, choosing and watching a movie together shouldn’t be the only “screening” or “testing” technique you use to determine the value of your relationship or the merit of continuing to explore its potential. But if you use movies intentionally As an experiment (by consciously observing and discussing your reactions, interactions, and behaviors), this micro-event can become a useful potential predictor of future relationship alignment.

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