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Do you like pina coladas? The power of hypnotic storytelling Part 2

In addition to my previous article on hypnotic storytelling, we continue…

First of all, let’s answer that question;

When exactly should you use stories in your communication?

– Whenever you want to fully involve someone when communicating, not just their conscious mind.

– Anytime you want to help get the best resources a person has to offer working on a solution.

– When there is conscious resistance of some kind, a belief or attitude that prevents progress in your communication.

– Use stories when you are selling something; including yourself.

– If you are a therapist, use them for the benefit of your clients.

– As a parent, of course, use them to convey valuable moral messages and lessons to your children.

– Stories can be used to intensify positive feelings: towards yourself, towards a new positive behavior (such as a change in diet or exercise) or even towards a product.

Now that I think about it, I can’t think of a communication environment or circumstance that wouldn’t be greatly improved by the graceful use of stories. Because of this, I think it’s a good idea, as you learn to use stories effectively and for maximum impact, to begin to fully imagine and consider all the ways you’ll use them to improve your communication, your life, and your life. life. of those around you.

How can someone easily use stories skillfully in their communication?

The first way to think about this is to think in terms of providing solutions to a cited problem: How can you help provide a solution to someone’s problem? You can think of the metaphor as a way to offer solutions.

Metaphors are particularly elegant ways to help people find a solution because they provide process instructions, not content instructions. Process means how to do something as opposed to what to do specifically. The process instructions allow the individual to come up with their own solutions, unique to their situation.

I remember seeing NLP Society President John LaValle come on stage at a training I attended with him a few years ago and he told us about his journey from his hotel to the training site. He spoke of how amazed he was by London taxi drivers. On his trip a large part of the road had been closed so they could not take the usual route to the hotel and the driver used his ‘knowledge’ to find an alternative way to get to the place on time. He just so happened that the new ride offered some different delights and sights and was very beneficial.

You can see how this would be a useful way to start a training seminar, can’t you? To illustrate that there are many benefits to taking new routes, to show that you have knowledge and need to dive into it sometimes to get new results, to show how to easily overcome obstacles when they arise. When done subtly and cleverly, this is powerful stuff.

Let me turn more specifically to the metaphor. People often express their problems in terms of metaphors – we can provide solutions in the same format. Have you ever heard someone say “life is a bitch”? Or “you just can’t keep your head above water”, or “I’ve been burning the candle at both ends”.

This is speaking in metaphor and you can honor that communication by responding with a metaphor of your own! It will show that you understand and appreciate how they communicate with you.

A metaphor speaks the language of the unconscious mind. One of my favorite television shows as a teenager was the sci-fi comedy series Red Dwarf. I can remember one brilliant episode, where all the main characters went to a parallel universe. When they were there they discovered that a decision in their lives had radically changed their way of being. They saw how they were doing as a result of those very small changes that had occurred to themselves in this parallel universe. It is a very interesting idea because you can offer the same type of perception in communication with the metaphor.

Building Parallel Realities: Maintaining the Structure of the Situation:

For a metaphor to be effective in solving a particular problem, it must engage the unconscious mind in relation to that problem. In other words, the story must be similar to the problem situation or the unconscious mind will miss the point.

One way to create that similarity is to maintain the structure of the problem situation. This is building parallel realities.

Let’s consider some examples…

1) A client comes to see me as a therapist and wants to lose weight. They say they have tried everything and have no willpower to stick with anything. This involves a person trying to achieve something, so your metaphor must involve someone (or something) trying to achieve a goal.

2) You are a seller. A customer thinks that what you are trying to sell is too expensive. We would need a metaphor in which a person has a change of perspective about the value of something. The metaphor would preserve the structure of the current situation (lack of perceived value of an item).

3) A husband and wife are fighting. We would tell a story about two people or two animals or two plants or two aliens (anything) who didn’t get along.

Next step? – Provide a solution:

Telling a story that preserves the structure of a problem situation will help the unconscious to get the idea that what you are saying directly applies to its situation. However, it will not help them solve the problem. Your story should also help find a solution!

The client who wants willpower should listen to a story that ends in the achievement of a goal. The customer who thinks an item is too expensive should get an ending that ends in a change of perspective on value. The husband and wife could certainly use a story ending in a harmonious relationship.

But how do you know what story to tell or what solution to offer?

When I mentioned the husband and wife who are fighting. Perhaps they were fighting because they no longer appreciated each other or had lost some of their “spark”. Here are some brief examples of how you might construct a metaphor for them…

A cat and a dog who fought like cats and dogs. Then, on a cold winter’s night, they had to huddle together to keep warm. That gave them a greater appreciation for each other.

How about two trees that were always complaining that the other was stealing all the sunlight? It wasn’t until they realized they were sheltering from the wind that they began to appreciate each other.

What about two neighbors who were always fighting until they found out that they were both stamp collectors?

Do you remember that Rupert Holmes pop song; The Piña Colada song, back then… It was a bit like that;

I was tired of my lady, we had been together too long.
Like a worn recording of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the newspaper in bed.
And in the personals column, there was this letter that I read:

“If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain.
If you don’t like yoga, if you have half a brain.
If you like to make love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I am the lady you were looking for, write me and escape.

I didn’t think about my lady, I know it sounds kind of mean.B
Put me and my old lady, I had fallen into the same boring routine as always.
So I wrote to the newspaper, I took out a personal ad.
And even though I’m nobody’s poet, I thought it wasn’t bad at all.

“Yes, I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.
I don’t really like healthy food, I like champagne.
I have to meet you tomorrow at noon and finish all this red tape.
In a bar called O’Malley’s, where we will plan our escape.”

So I waited with high hopes, then she entered the place.
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, “Oh, it’s you.”
And we laughed for a bit, and I said, “I never knew.”

“That you liked piña coladas and that the rain caught you.
And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.
If you like to make love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You are the love that I have sought, come with me and escape.

Now that’s a wonderfully hypnotic song, isn’t it? Tells a great story, doesn’t it?

I got a little carried away putting all the lyrics here and they’re not really that important, but you know where I’m coming from. Ok let me get back on track…

However, do you get the idea? All the examples I have given (before the lyrics of the song) maintain the structure of the problem situation (two characters that do not get along).

These metaphors are parallel to problem in that they contain a lack of appreciation (the type of problem). In all cases, the metaphor provides further appreciation through a change in perspective (the solution).

A good metaphor will often include a change in perception, skill development (or transporting a skill from another area), and resource states. A resource state is simply an emotional or physiological state that helps someone achieve a goal.

The couple who had been arguing surely needed a change of perspective. They could use some skills to recognize valuable qualities in others. They could benefit from calm resource states or a sense of appreciation (or someone to play them the Rupert Holmes song!).

Your metaphor could include all of this…

“…and the trees began to see, hear and feel all the ways they made each other’s lives richer and more rewarding. A sense of calm and appreciation flowed deep into their beings as if drawing water through its roots…”

Of course, I would recommend that you NOT use a metaphor like “One day, a daddy’s alligator and a mommy’s alligator were arguing and…” It has to be relevant and appropriate and I recommend that if you use a metaphor, you make it into a very good story.

So when you communicate with friends, family, children, colleagues, and anyone else, think about how you can use stories and metaphors to get your messages across to the unconscious mind of your audience and make them resonate deeply with you.

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