A confrontation card is a card that confronts a situation, a problem, or a dispute. Look for a specific target from the receiver that will not normally be awarded without resistance.

The writer wants a certain goal and the recipient of the letter will not grant that goal unless he is convinced that he must.

Here are some tips on how to effectively structure a ‘confrontation letter’:

1. Appearance is very important. The letter should be in hard copy and look impressive and professional. You should use good quality paper and print the letter with a good printer on professional looking letterhead.

Emails don’t project the impressive image that is truly effective.

Emails are not impressive and these days a hard copy is increasingly rare. For that reason, the appearance of an impressive-looking printed letter means that the letter is a serious letter and written by a writer who deserves serious consideration. An impressive printed letter stands out from the crowd.

Have you ever noticed how much more respect a man receives in a well-made suit? The same principle applies and the physical appearance of the letter is very important and should project the writer as a serious, refined and educated individual.

Implicit behind this projected image is the fact that the writer has the capacity and the means to take the matter further, that is, to the recipient’s superiors and / or the authorities that supervise the recipient’s conduct and their organization.

The serious and impressive appearance of the letter projects the clear understanding that the writer is the type of person who can subsequently refer the matter to an attorney for action if the request for redress is denied.

What also needs to be taken into account is the mindset of the recipient of a confrontational letter. In other words, the greatest fear of a recipient of a confrontation letter is that their decision not to grant their request could be overruled by their superiors.

So, if the recipient has received an impressive looking letter that is persuasively written, this basic fear of being overruled will weigh heavily on their mind. You can grant the request out of fear that the letter will look like a “problem” in both appearance and content. Therefore, you can decide to quickly grant the request and close the file. The recipient will save negative responses for letters that do not appear to be a “problem.” I have personally experienced this situation many times and that is why I place special emphasis on the physical appearance of the card.

A word processor can easily create a professional-looking letterhead. I recommend a border around the page and paragraphs are justified on both sides to give the letter a distinctly professional look. If you have a title or some type of designation, include it on your letterhead.

I’m not suggesting that if you have a weak argument, an impressive looking card will be effective on its own. However, what I am suggesting is that an impressive letter, in every way, is likely to ensure that the persuasive argument contained in that letter receives the serious attention and careful treatment it deserves. And that goal is more than half the battle!

2. The letter must be well documented and organized. If there is background and supporting information that must be passed on to the recipient, that information must be accurate and complete. To keep the letter itself to a minimum, consider including supporting information in an appendix attached to the letter.

The package placed in front of the recipient must be total so that the reader does not have to secure other records to confirm or understand the situation correctly. This is also the mark of a professional and will have a positive impact on the recipient. The recipient will feel that they are dealing with a professional working together and that feeling will increase their concern.

3. The letter should be completely professional in tone and content and should project a distinctive tone of courtesy and respect. Deviating from this standard gives the recipient an excuse to place the request in the category of an unreasonable request. Once a request has been qualified as’ unreasonable, whether justified or unjustified, it is very difficult to reinstate that request.

4. If there are facts that need to be stated, make sure they are stated clearly and in short paragraphs of one or two sentences at the beginning of the letter. Short sentences and paragraphs are easier to read and the information contained is easier to digest. You want your factual case to be very clear and consideration should be given to numbering these paragraphs so that the recipient can easily refer to them by number.

5. State the request as briefly as possible and justify why the recipient should grant the request. Make your argument as short and simple as possible. Your letter should be as short as possible because if you deviate and add more details, you may put something in which an unscrupulous recipient could unfairly deny your request. The touchstone: make things as clear and simple as possible.

6. End the letter in an upbeat manner. Indicate that you expect the reader to acknowledge the merits of their position and invite them to respond if something is unclear. I find the following sentence particularly effective: ‘If you cannot accept my request or if I am wrong in any of the facts or in any other aspect of the case that I have described, please advise specifically.’

If the recipient gives you a detailed explanation of why they are rejecting your request, it will be your roadmap in continuing to try to persuade them to accept your request. It can also embarrass you in a closed case when your answer is inappropriate and can be reviewed by a superior.

If the recipient does not give you a detailed explanation of why they are rejecting your request, you can take advantage of that fact to suggest in a later letter that the recipient is not being reasonable in considering your request.

7. Never refer to your “request” as a “demand.” It should be respectfully framed as a “request.”

8. Always end the letter with “Respectfully yours.”

That ‘respectful’ ending further confirms and emphatically that the letter has been delivered with respect, which is crucial.

If the recipient responds in a disrespectful or disrespectful professional manner, then the contrast between their approach and yours is a stark contrast. This fact will be to your advantage when the letter and the entire situation is reviewed by someone else … that is, someone with authority to the first responder, a regulator, another interested third party, etc.

Many of these confrontational situations are won only by a narrow margin and can easily go one way or another. The fact that your letter (s) is reasonable and respectful can be the crucial difference. Rarely have I seen a disrespectful and unreasonable letter secure its purpose. It is much more difficult to deny a request in a polite, respectful, and well-written letter.

9. Do not end the letter with a ‘cc’ to the regulator or any other third party that may represent an authority to the recipient. It’s completely inappropriate, unprofessional, and the mark of an amateur.

The reference to a third party may be appropriate at a later stage, but the first letter should stand alone and the recipient should not be made to feel like they have a gun to their head.

The recipient knows very well that he can appeal to a higher authority and does not need to be reminded. Most first responders are very sensitive to this issue and so why antagonize it by waving that threat in their face? Do you really want to antagonize the person you are trying to convince?

10. A demand in the letter that there be a response within a specified period of time is completely inappropriate and unnecessarily irritating to the recipient and should not be inserted in your first letter.

True professionals fully understood that a timely response should always be provided and some first responders take the request for a quick response as an indication of desperation or impatience and a weakness to exploit. For that reason, many first responders will deliberately delay their response to exasperate the writer and perhaps provoke an intemperate letter that generally always benefits the recipient.

Forget asking for a quick or timely response; you have no control over that fact, so why mention it?

In fact, a late response can work to your advantage at a later stage. A slow response can look bad when reviewed later and will tend to indicate that perhaps the recipient of your letter is being unreasonable, dragging their feet unnecessarily, and acting inappropriately.

11. Make sure there is nothing in your letter that could be criticized. Don’t let your anger show up. Remember that at some point this letter is very likely to be reviewed by others and should be completely blameless. An understandable mild expression of exasperation may be to prove a point, but nothing more.

12. If you have the luxury of time, sleep on the letter and return to it when it is cool.

It’s amazing what a new pair of eyes can see and it’s also amazing what other spots can happen to you as you go about your regular schedule.

Review the letter critically and edit it to be as concise as possible and flow smoothly. Remember that the key to good writing is “rewriting.”

If possible, ask a friend with good judgment and good writing skills to review it. A good second opinion coupled with constructive criticism can be invaluable.