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Prioritizing self-care: the key to stress management

Self-care is a crucial part of stress management. Regardless of the reasons for your stress, practicing self-care regularly will dramatically improve how “stressed out” you feel, as well as how effectively you manage the sources of your stress. It can also combat the negative consequences of stress for physical and mental health.

Everyone needs to spend some time focusing on self-care, but many people tend to put the needs of others before their own. These people commonly include doctors, nurses, therapists, teachers, and other people whose job it is to focus on helping other people. This pattern is also common for fathers and other caregivers, as well as for women in general (although many men are also ignorant of their own needs).

The following tips can help you reduce stress by learning how to take care of your own needs first, for only then will you be strong and healthy enough to really be there and care for others:

1. Not taking enough care of yourself often happens because you’re not paying attention to self-care. Simply making the decision to prioritize self-care will greatly benefit you and those around you. To start, keep track of how much time each day or week you actually spend on self-care so that you can be aware of how little time you spend on it. You may even want to enter this time in red ink in a daily planner or appointment book for a visual representation of how well you are (or are not) taking care of yourself.

2. Many people feel that when they relax, they “do nothing.” On the contrary, taking time to relax is very important, restorative, and essential for physical and psychological well-being. Try to make sure you give yourself a little “down time” every day. If you find it difficult to relax without “doing” something, just focus on taking slow, deep breaths or relaxing each of your muscle groups.

3. Getting enough sleep is critical to your well-being and should be a priority; without it, your mood and ability to handle stress will surely suffer. A set of good sleep practices called “sleep hygiene” can dramatically improve both the quality and quantity of your sleep. These practices include:

  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (including weekends) to help “set” your body clock so it falls asleep when you want it to.
  • Make sure your body is in good sleeping condition when you go to bed. Minimize or eliminate caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol for several hours before bed. Don’t eat a big meal late at night, but also make sure you’re not hungry when you go to bed, as this can disrupt your sleep. Also, while regular exercise will improve your sleep and your ability to manage stress, try to exercise in the morning so your body is no longer “revved up” when it’s time to go to bed.
  • Try not to take naps. If this cannot be avoided, be sure to take a nap before 3:00 pm and sleep no more than 1 hour (ideally 20 minutes).
  • Teach your body to sleep when it hits the bed by doing nothing else on your bed (eg reading, watching TV, working, etc.). The only exception to this is sex.
  • Make your bedroom as quiet and dark as possible. You may even want to invest in light-blocking shades, as the darker the room, the more melatonin your brain will produce and release; melatonin improves sleep quality, stabilizes sleep, and also acts as an antioxidant.
  • If you can’t sleep after about 20 minutes, get up and do something boring and non-stimulating (eg, read the dictionary) and go back to bed when you start to feel sleepy. Make sure not to turn on any bright lights, as this will wake up your body. You can also take a warm bath, as the drop in body temperature that occurs after a bath signals the body to go to sleep. Because of this, your bedroom should ideally always be on the cool side (slightly below room temperature).

4. Each morning, instead of getting out of bed, take a little time to start your day. Allow your mind to slowly wake up and get oriented, and prepare your body by doing some gentle stretching exercises. You may want to set your alarm a few minutes earlier so you have plenty of time to practice this kind of leisurely self-care. You can also hit the “sleep” button one less time – spending 7 minutes preparing for your day will improve your mood and energy level much more than just 7 minutes of sleep!

5. Make sure you are getting the right amount of vitamins and minerals (eg, a daily multivitamin, fish oil, calcium, vitamin D, vitamin B complex, etc.). Not giving your body the nutrients it needs can make it sluggish and less able to deal with the demands of your day. Consult your doctor about the specific vitamins you should take; In addition, he or she may want you to have lab work done to see if you have any existing deficiencies.

6. Go for a brisk walk for at least half an hour every day. Regular exercise is good for cardiovascular and bone health, and it releases chemicals in your body that can improve your mood and decrease the amount of stress you feel. Also, fresh air and a change of scenery can be very beneficial.

7. In addition to the usual “get enough sleep, nutrition and exercise” lifestyle recommendations, think of more creative ways to take care of yourself. For example, you can participate in “pampering” activities, such as regular pedicures, manicures, facials, or massages; These services are generally inexpensive if you only perform them once a month, and the benefits to your well-being are priceless. You can also make activities you really enjoy part of your routine, like going to the movies, eating out at your favorite restaurant, etc.

8. Call a meeting with everyone in your household to go over homework and other necessary household chores. Discuss how often these various tasks need to be done, as well as how long each task takes. Work together to divide household responsibilities equally so that everyone has the same amount of time for chores, not necessarily the same amount of chores. This way, you can ensure that everyone has as much free time as possible. To avoid arguments about who is supposed to do what, you can keep a chart with this information on the refrigerator door.

9. Having adequate social support is absolutely necessary for mental health and stress management. Nurture and promote good friendships or other relationships, and find at least one person you trust enough to talk to about anything. If you tend to act like the caretaker in most of your relationships, make sure you have at least one friend you can count on to take care of you.

10. Buy something new (not necessarily expensive) for your home or office, like a painting, a plant, or music you enjoy. Fixing up your surroundings is often neglected, but feeling good about where you spend most of your time can go a long way toward improving your overall mood and stress level.

(Many thanks to Noreen Keenan, PhD, who generously provided some of the information above.)

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