Call them one-hit wonders, novelty acts, or just outrageously ridiculous songs, there are so many wacky classic songs we’ve all come to love to shame. We know they’re stupid, we know they’re pointless, we know they’re pointless, we know they’re ridiculous, but we never hesitate to put it on our iPod today. It’s probably because of their craziness that we love these songs.
Here are 5 classic songs you should be ashamed of liking.
“Kung Fu Fighting” – Carl Douglas
It has been called the greatest one-hit wonder of all time. It has also been called the most ridiculous song (and dance) ever created. Which is not surprising given that songs about martial arts are not something that happens every day. One of the first disco songs, “Kung Fu Fighting” was a resounding commercial success when it was released in 1974, selling over a million copies in the US and over 4 million worldwide.
Soon enough, the whole world was dancing and singing “everyone was kung-fu fighting, those cats were lightning fast, in fact it was a bit scary, but they fought with expert timing.” The fact that he came with a dance made it even more popular and addictive.
If you’ve never heard “Kung-Fu Fighting,” I’m warning you to prepare yourself for one of the worst songs you’ll ever hear. You will almost certainly hate it at first, but you will grow to love it. Guaranteed. And then you will hang your head in shame.
“Tarzan Boy” – Baltimore
Any song that uses Tarzan’s scream as its melodic line is nothing short of outrageous. “Tarzan Boy” was a smashing one-hit wonder for Italian electro-pop dance group Baltimora in 1985. Sung by frontman Jimmy McShane, it also comes with one of the worst music videos ever created. You can see for yourself above.
The song is about living in the jungle like Tarzan Boy and about “monkey business on a sunny afternoon”. The lyrics are certainly some of the worst ever written, however, it is Tarzan’s scream that makes this song so memorable and so loved by so many of us. We really should hang our heads in shame.
“Ice Ice Baby” – Vanilla Ice
In addition to being a major hip-hop one-hit wonder in the early ’90s, it was also the subject of a plagiarism dispute. And to make things worse (or more interesting), Vanilla Ice was an unheard-of white rapper in the early ’90s.
There are few phrases in music that are more addictive than “ice ice baby.” In fact, many of us still freak out at the prospect of singing “ice ice baby” in a whisper-like voice. We probably have this song on our iPods right now. Hang your head in shame if you love this song.
“Barbara Ann” – The Beach Boys
It would be hard to find another song that repeats its title so many times during the song. So many times that the Beach Boys themselves have made the mistake of singing “baa baa black sheep” instead of “Barbara Ann” on a few occasions. One wonders if the boy’s lullaby was the inspiration behind this song. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.
Sorry to anyone named Barbara or Barbara Ann, this is definitely a song you wouldn’t want to hear. You’re probably wondering why people have to sound like sheep to sing a song. However, this is probably why we all love to sing and dance to this song. Let us hang our heads in shame.
“I’m Too Sexy” – Right Said Fred
A worldwide hit in 1992, “I’m Too Sexy” features some of the funniest and most ridiculous lyrics ever used. In fact, he would classify this song as more of a comedy parody than a pop song.
The song explores the feeling of being comfortable with your personal level of sexiness that is too sexy for many things. The song goes through a list of things that the protagonist says he is too sexy for. This includes being too sexy for “my love, my shirt, Milan, Japan, New York, your party, my car, my hat, my cat” and finally the song itself.
Men may not like to admit it, but they just (and secretly) love this song and dream of singing it every time they get out of bed. They may hang their heads in shame.
There are more wacky classic songs out there, but you’ll have a hard time getting past the 5 songs featured here.
