The art of no: within a gaming community
That’s correct, I’m talking about getting into that situation where you didn’t say no (when you should, but you were just being friendly or trying to keep the peace) to a member and now they’re circling around you. . Early in being a mod / manager / owner, you learn that life lesson of not being so nice. There will always be members who ask for an inch and take a mile, then you will have to give the mile to all other players / members for fear of it looking like a favoritism. It is a mistake that I have made many times over the years.
The difficult thing is to be firm but not to get away from the rest of the players. The best way to do this is to be firm BUT right from the beginning, don’t let yourself become a mushy apple. Don’t take this to mean that you need to become this stone-cold mother … you get what I mean. Just keep in mind that you need to put on your admin / owner / moderator hat and deal with people that way. Not the way you would deal with a friend.
All members / Mod and admins know when it comes to community issues, I am speaking as an owner. It is not your internet friend or even your personal friend.
Let’s say one of our Minecraft server members asks me if they can set a warp. (being able to set up a teleportation for you other than Minecrafter) Well, on our Minecraft server we don’t allow normal non-donating members to have that ability. I would tell them no, the reason I said no, and any other information that might be helpful to that member at the time.
I would download something like this.
Member: Can I have a warp set please?
Me: I’m not sorry, we don’t allow it [member] Players ranked to be able to set a deformation. This is because we don’t want to have hundreds of warps on the server and we want people to move around and see the whole map. Nevertheless [VIP] range has the ability to set 1 public deformation, to get [VIP] You can donate money or donate part of your time to basic jobs where we need help.
Never just say “No”, always answer it with a reason. It will make the player understand that you are not just being mean. That is the reason why he says “No” and does not treat them differently than any other member / player.
Learn from a veteran, don’t say yes when inside you mean no.