Not all women, but many women think that if they continue to show a man how much they love him, or ‘just put up with it’, he will eventually commit to them. This is not the case at all. I know this firsthand, because I recently had to leave a two-year relationship after realizing that the only man I ever really loved had no intention of committing to me even though I showed him how much I truly loved him, and being very committed. with the.
Once I realized and accepted that he wasn’t going to commit to me: I walked away. Sure, it was a painful decision, but I knew it was a much-needed decision I had to make before investing any more time in this dead-end relationship. I cried like a baby the day I left. For him to make it painfully clear that he wasn’t going to commit to me was like a slap in the face. Essentially, it had become a free ride for him.
Consequently, I love like many women: with my heart and not with my head. I ignored the warning signs in the early stages of our relationship that came back to haunt me and caused me indescribable pain. One sign I ignored was the fact that he had several long-term relationships with women that went nowhere.
To illustrate, he dated a woman for seven years. He dated another woman for two years and another woman for five years. Do you see the pattern? Well I ignored this obvious pattern and paid for it. Another major sign that I ignored was his obvious discomfort whenever he broached the subject of marriage. Seven months into our relationship, I asked him if he saw a future with me. Instead of offering an answer, he simply looked away. Needless to say, his refusal to give me an answer cut through my heart like a knife.
Even then, I knew even then that I should have left, but again I loved him and really hoped that he would eventually commit to me. By the way, his words and his actions lead me to believe that he wanted a long-term committed relationship for him and I looked at the houses that “we” would one day buy.
I later learned the hard way that our search for houses to buy as a couple was just a ploy to make me believe he wanted a long-term committed relationship and keep me committed to what he already knew would be a death. end relationship. Essentially, he sold me a fantasy, which I bought.
One thing I’ve learned in dealing with men, especially commitment-phobic men: believe what he does, not what he says. Whatever is on a man’s heart will definitely come out through his words, and most definitely through his actions. It is not enough to hope that a man will one day commit to you. Waiting and committing hoping that a man will make you one day is just that: hope.
Furthermore, it allows him to continue to manipulate the relationship to keep you clinging to a false hope and ultimately locked into a dead-end relationship. When it becomes very clear to you that the man you’ve been dating for a while hasn’t even approached marriage, and he’s showing by his actions that he doesn’t want to commit to you: STAY AWAY!
Trust me, the longer you stay in such a relationship, the more difficult it will be to get out of the relationship. Like me, you will cling to false hopes and find excuses to stay in the relationship. Ultimately, the longer you stay in that relationship, the more valuable time you will lose that you could be spending with a man who really wants to give you the commitment you deserve.
