If your boyfriend or girlfriend ever started drifting away, there’s a good chance you’ve reached into your pocket, pulled out your cell phone, and hoping to find a way to text your ex. You’re looking for the perfect text… those magic words that will fix everything and make your connection stronger than ever.

You have a hard time finding the right words. You write, then you erase. Writes. Then delete. And you wonder if it’s all worth it.

As someone who spends a lot of time delving into relationship gossip, fact, and fiction, a question I’m regularly asked is, “Will this work for me? How do I know if my ex will even accept me?”

After all, no one wants to spend a lot of time and effort on something that will never be. If your ex is really over the relationship, what’s the point of trying to text them? Wouldn’t it be better to move on?

I have to agree that chasing something that is never going to be is a good way to go crazy. But there is a way to know if they have a chance to get back together.

What is it? It is apathy.

Apathy is a state of indifference and lack of emotion. When it comes to relationships, hate is not the opposite of love, apathy is.

If your ex is apathetic towards you, it will be extremely difficult to win him back. An apathetic ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is even harder to get back than one who hates you dead.

Emotion of any kind (good or bad) means there is hope. When there is no emotion and total indifference, it is probably better to move on and not waste time.

In Text Your Ex Back, author Michael Fiore states, “Apathy will kill any chance you have of getting back together with your ex, but any powerful positive or negative emotion can be transformed and guided using simple techniques I’m going to teach you.”

Michael calls his techniques “text judo” because they take your ex’s current emotions and turn them to your advantage, much like a martial artist practicing judo learns to use an opponent’s strengths against them. The right texts at the right time can help turn anger into love and pain into acceptance and desire.

If you are wondering whether or not your ex will accept you, take a look at their emotions towards you. There’s love? Rush? Anger? Hurt? Confusion?

If so, then there is hope.