One of the most important qualities that a child should have is good manners. Children with good manners are more successful and confident. Good manners help them develop positive family and work relationships as they grow older. They are nicer and have more friends. Instilling good manners in your child should start very early, from the moment the child begins to understand. When I was a child, a basic way was: never call an adult by her name. Dr./Mr./Mrs./Ms. and last name or just “Uncle” or “Aunt” were the prevailing words where I come from, that’s one of the reasons I had a lot of uncles and aunts! If a child called an adult by his name, he was not polite and was not considered respectful.
The use of magic words has always topped the list of manners: please and thank you. Did you think there were only two magic words? Here are two more: Excuse me and I’m sorry. I wish I could replace all the “Yes!” and no!” with “Yes please!” and “No thanks!” It will be very nice to hear “Excuse me, I’m sorry!” instead of “Hey!” There are other ways to not interrupt two adults if they are having a conversation. If you’re bored listening to them, control yourself, don’t say it. Wait your turn. Think twice before saying anything, which includes not using obscene language, never making the wrong comments, and not insulting others. If you want something, ask permission. If a friend says hello to you, say hello back. Share with others. Help others. Respect everyone. Be polite.
Shaking hands is considered good manners, and good manners are an essential success in the business world. In medieval times, the handshake originated in Europe. People offered a handshake to show that they do not hide weapons. It has evolved over the years. So have manners. They have also evolved over the generations, but seem to be eroding among children. Passing on these manners to the next generation is getting harder and harder. I think our parents might have felt the same. All good manners start at home. Children like to imitate adults, so we must be good role models. Never ignore children’s unpleasant behavior, always talk to them about it and follow up with them in private. Always praise the child for showing good manners. Teachers also play an important role. For younger children, child development professionals and teachers can think of a way to emphasize each month. Topics can range from addressing adults, respect, social interaction with friends, use of magic words, etc. The advantage of emphasizing one way at a time will help the child not be overwhelmed with too many. It takes a while to teach children good manners. So keep emphasizing these and they will become a good habit. I found an activity for older kids (elementary school age), where they had a question and answer session on the 20 best manners where they were asked if they were practicing those manners. They had to read and check one of three: often, sometimes, or never. The moral of the exercise is good and children are reminded of good manners as part of the exercise.
I have met some parents who think manners are an outdated concept. They boast that their son is independent and let him misbehave in front of others. Well, good manners will never go out of style. They are one of the success tools for the child. These days, respectful and courteous behaviors are not very common among children. If your child will have this rare commodity, he will outshine many other children. It’s never too late to start working on good manners with your children.
