What a week for this miniature dachshund! As the friend of my 2 human puppies was walking back to her house, a large German Shepherd broke its chain and started running towards the poor screaming friend. I had to do something. I also knew that the big dog could not move or climb over the fence that surrounded my garden. So I started to bark and grow telling the big dog to go after someone of the same species and size. The big dog then ran over to the fence and away from the human girl. The girl ran back to her house and she was fine. The dog never got to her because of me. The big dog then put her paw on my fence and I bit her and told her to get off of it. My owner came out and took me inside to protect the big dog from me as I am very strong and the owner of the big dog came and took him home.

Then a couple days after that I got my little friend that those humans get every month. My owners were excited for some reason and later told me why. They said I was going to have puppies with Mr. Growley, my lonesome dachshund boyfriend. I thought, “Wow, wait! What’s with my girlish figure and my weight? I’m too cute to have puppies.” Then I thought about it and my human mom had a couple of puppies and she got a better figure than she did before she had puppies and my human dad says she’s hot. I could do this with puppies if they did it and they turned out better and happier than before.