Ask anyone about the benefits of male chastity and orgasm denial, and the answer you’ll get will almost always be the same, a variation on the theme of “your man will become more attentive, more loving, he’ll stop looking at porn and your life will become one of luxury”.
Well maybe. I can’t say that never happens, although it’s not as close a deal as you might think. Most of the people telling you this are in the business of selling you gadgets on how to achieve this largely mythical result. So let’s see the truth and then reveal a hidden and largely “secret” benefit that no one talks about simply because they are focusing on the wrong thing. I’ll come back to this in a minute.
First, let me tell you that your man will probably become more caring and loving and everything else, just like he used to be when you were first together. Most “experts” and “lovers” claim that if you accept male chastity and orgasm denial, he will become more devoted because he just wants to have sex with you.
This is not true in most cases. And even if it was, I’m suggesting that he would actually find it rather off-putting rather than a hot and passionate new twist on their relationship. To put this in the context of a common experience, most women have experienced being picked on by a “nice guy” who looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and won’t leave you alone.
Is this sexy and attractive?
No. Even if it doesn’t go full-blown stalking, which is completely different and very scary, it’s just… pathetic and as sexy as socks and sandals.
The good news is that this doesn’t have to happen just because you accept male chastity and orgasm denial. And I know this is a real fear for women new to the idea: they don’t mind the idea of playing a passionate game with their man…but they do mind if he turns into a spineless coward.
On the contrary, while you probably want him to find you irresistible and unable to keep his hands off you, you also want him to be a strong, loving, confident, sexy, masculine man. Yes, some “dominant women” don’t want that, but they are in the minority. Most of us girls want a man who is a man, not a teenage doormat with a sad face. But the point is that this unwanted change does not have to occur as a result of male chastity and orgasm denial per se.
See, his increased interest in you stems from the increased intimacy the two of you share now (which is why I say it’s a two-way street, and you have a responsibility to keep your end of the bargain, if only “lock it up and leave it“, don’t expect him to be happy or the chastity lifestyle to work for you.) This brings you closer together. And close people tend to do nice things for each other.
Remember, almost everything written about male chastity and orgasm denial is written by women whose opinions are polarized toward the “dominant” side, or by men whose opinions are polarized toward the other side: toward submission and subservience. However, the truth is that most of us are right in the middle. We want all the pleasure without the behaviors that often amount to abuse (even if it is consensual abuse, it’s not what most people want).
Now, upstairs, I said I’d reveal a secret benefit that no one talks about. Well, it’s simple and obvious, that’s why very few people see it. And I think you’re going to love it (plus, it might just convince you to try it).
Essentially, instead of doing the whole thing about male chastity and orgasm denial, rephrase it to be about preparing for the times when it will allow you to have an orgasm. In other words, focus on the pleasure you can give her, not the “suffering” she has to endure (because I know it can be hard to keep saying “not!“when you want to have an orgasm).
For example…
My husband John and I have “honeymoons” three or four times a year.
Doesn’t reach orgasm none another time, but during those weekends, he has a “free pass”. And it really is like being a newlywed again. Occasionally we even go to a hotel for a break and make it a real event. No doubt if you discuss this idea on forums you will be told that you are not doing it “right” and that your idea of male chastity and orgasm denial is somehow “wrong” or “inferior” to the way you People do it. they follow the “correct” way of doing it.
But you have a choice. You can listen to them and play a game in your life with rules that you did not create; or you can decide to choose for yourself and create your own rules. In my experience, the last option is always the best.
