Negotiating is trying to get something you want from someone else, so of course persuasion skills are important, but how often have you been in a negotiation where one person has gotten heated, angry, and aggressive?
You can control the situation and get back on track with a few simple but key techniques.
1. Let them talk
2. Listen… and don’t interrupt… and watch your body language
3. Try not to use words that trigger them more, like “but”, “always”, “never”.
This will take the stress off the other person and give you a chance to voice your opinion… and since you were polite to them, they’ll feel compelled to give you a turn, but if they start over, let them. they go until they have gotten it out of their system.
This is not easy and you may have to use all your patience not to become aggressive too.
There is a great Yoga technique to stay calm in these situations. Imagine inhaling through the right nostril and exhaling through the left, then inhaling through the left nostril and exhaling through the right… keep it up.
Give it a try when someone talks to you today… you’ll find that it keeps you remarkably calm and that you can actually hear the other person.
When you speak, start slowly and in a lower voice. This helps to calm the other person even more and they will listen more carefully.
Start with some “closed” questions (that is, questions they can only answer yes or no) and frame your question so they can only answer “yes.” This helps them be positive about your point of view and gets them in the habit of agreeing with you.
You also need to know where your turning away point is…and stick with it! It’s not a negotiation if you turn around and give everything away.
Many sellers have been beaten by experienced purchasing managers because the seller couldn’t leave…and how many people have paid more than they wanted for a house or a car.
Remember this is meant to be a win/win, so you have to give something… but not your jersey.
Keep an open mind and guide discussions to find multiple options before agreeing on the one that works best for both parties.
People like to do business with people they respect, so while it’s okay to be tough… you should also be fair.
Some buyers think they’re smart when they drop a minimum price, but those who take a “partnership” approach get much more from their vendor in terms of customer service.
Put yourself in their shoes… if you had two clients, one always fair and one always difficult, which one would you do everything for?
Staying calm in negotiations can mean the difference in getting what you want and these simple techniques can be used in many different scenarios…even at home…practice with your partner, if you can win at home, negotiating at work it will be easy.
