We’ve all looked back on past relationships and said, “What was I thinking?” The problem is that you weren’t thinking. You were so caught up in the chemistry and wonderful feelings of the moment that you chose to miss some warning signs that there could be trouble down the line. Here is a list of things to keep in mind when dating:
CELL PHONE USE: There’s a new disease in town. It’s called “cellular phonitis.” People suffering from this cannot part with their cell phones. They will accept a call 24/7. Dating someone like that can be annoying. It’s almost like you’re not even there. If you start dating someone and find out they have this disease, you can signal your disgust – ONE TIME ONLY. If they persist, forget them. It’s rude and disrespectful behavior on your part and we don’t tolerate it, right?
DRIVING BEHAVIOR: If you want to know what someone is really like, be a passenger in a car with them. To quote an online traffic school: the stronger the image drivers have of themselves, the less threatened they are by what is going on around them. Identifying with one’s own vehicle is a symptom of a weak ego. Insecure people imagine that everything that happens on the road is a direct threat to them personally. Someone blocks their way and they must retaliate: “Who do these people think they are to block my way?” The irrational thoughts of insecure people can keep them constantly upset. Wow, this sounds like the type of person I’d want to date. No!
ME! ME! ME!: I once knew a guy who had a one track mind. That is, all that was on his mind was himself. He kept talking about all of his accomplishments. I thought he was finally changing when he said, Enough about me, tell me about yourself. Before he could utter a word, he was back on his favorite subject! If the same!! What a complete turnoff. I think boys are guilty of this than girls. I’m sorry. Guys know that some women will be impressed by what they have done, who they know, etc. They go on and on thinking they are getting somewhere (closer to the bedroom?). Smart women are not fooled by this. We want to start a conversation. If we want to see a one-man play, we’ll go to the theater!
BOO-HOO-HOO: Don’t you just love dating someone who’s always complaining? Ah yes, the joys of seeing the glass half empty. There is always something wrong or someone who has done it wrong. Arrive at your pity party with some cheese for your whining if you plan on staying. If not, RUN!!!!!
SHE IS A PSYCHOLOGIST/HE IS AN Idiot: If you believe in the law of attraction (we attract/are attracted to who we are), and the person you start dating says their ex was a psychopath or an idiot, what do you do? It means that? them? You guessed it. Does that mean that you are also a psychopath or an idiot? Only if you choose to stay. Just remember, one day YOU will be the psychopath or jerk they complain about to someone else.
ROLLING APPEALS: I am amazed at how many people put up with this. What is one of the main reasons for being in a relationship? Because your life improves as a result of that person being in it. Does being called a bitch or a loser improve your life? I can understand someone saying you’re being a bitch or acting like a bitch, but the next time someone says “Bitch!” to you, your only response should be, “You’re right. I’m a bitch. I’m a babe in complete control of herself” as you walk out the door for good.
ORAL SEX: In all my years of dating, I’ve only come across one guy who didn’t want oral sex. In general, girls may have more problems than boys. Either way, it’s not a good sign, especially if it’s important to you. I have a girlfriend whose husband refuses to do it. The poor girl has been relegated to only dreaming about it when she’s asleep. Since oral sex is an acceptable part of sex in the 21st century, if someone isn’t willing to participate, they’re obviously in trouble. Whether you stick around to see if they’re willing to work on that is up to you, but keep in mind that this is always a red flag.
HANG UP: We have all hung up on someone or someone has hung up on us. However, at a certain point, we grow up and realize that we can’t just hang around people when we’re upset or frustrated with them. The correct way to deal with this situation is to say something like, “I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m going to hang up. Bye.” If you’ve finally gotten to this point and someone hangs up on you, you might want to think twice before dating that person. There are likely other issued maturities involved. However, if you keep hanging up on people and someone hangs up on you, then stick with it. Those of us who have grown up don’t need to be bothered by the dating scene.
SOAP OPERAS: This is mainly with regard to boys. Soap operas are the television equivalent of Harlequin romances, and like Secret deodorant, they may be “strong enough for a man, but they’re made for a woman.” I just don’t think guys have any business watching soaps (sorry CBS, NBC and ABC) unless they’re actually on the show and want to check their “performance”.
I LOVE YOU: Anyone who is professing their “love” within a few weeks or a few months of meeting you is being insincere and immature. You have to know someone before you can truly love them. However, people are throwing this phrase left and right, and before you know it, the relationship is over. It’s better to err on the side of caution and take too long to say it than to rush it. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that yelling this for the first time during a moment of “passion” doesn’t count.
There are two things that separate me from almost everyone reading this: Awareness and attitude. I am aware of the red flags and have the attitude that I will not stay once I see them. Now that you have increased your awareness, what will be YOUR attitude?
