it’s fine. You have taken the time to examine your life as it is today and you have discovered the small joy hidden within you; the “want” and not the “should” of what you really want to do!

It’s not exciting? But after going through all the steps and making a plan, you still find yourself procrastinating and several of the important steps you somehow planned keep falling to the bottom of the list. Why, oh, why can’t you make yourself do it? What keeps stopping you?

As I pondered this question and searched for an answer, a lightbulb went off as my beautiful granddaughter and I were enjoying her latest passion; stepping out in her Snow White Princess costume.

These days when I visit Kenzi, she enthusiastically removes her costume, looks approvingly in the mirror at the results, and we embark on our adventure. This ritual usually occurs at 5:00 pm when we walk around the block and pass a house where a group of ladies sit on the porch every night and visit us. My daughter and I call them “the happy hour ladies,” but Kenzi simply refers to them as “the ladies.” He loves to walk past this house to show off his costume. We never stop, it’s just a wave and hearing the guaranteed chorus of “Oh, isn’t that adorable?” them and we continued our journey. Every time he confidently walks past the house, he smiles and proudly says “hello” and waves his little hand as we pass.

Her latest addition to the costume is a headband with long blonde hairpieces. I know, I know, Snow White doesn’t have long blonde hair, but that’s part of the beauty of this story. Now it has become the most you can add to make this character your own version of the beautiful princess; fabulous, right?

As an obsessive and adoring grandmother, I anticipate with dread what I know is coming; that first time she comes out of the cocoon of being surrounded by acceptance and applauded for her individuality and criticized for her originality. That first crushing moment of her spirit when those she likes and wants to accept her tell her that she looks silly in her costume or that she doesn’t have the right shoes, jeans, shirt or opinion. Have you ever noticed that this how often comes from someone who is afraid of being different?

Where does this come from? How does it become so big that it permeates our lives even as adults? I always thought it was just brainwashing until I came across the illuminating video, The Story of Stuff by Annie Leonard. I never realized that this constant pressure to conform was actually planned. If you haven’t seen this, you should watch it, if you have, watch it again. It is full of intriguing food for thought, but what struck me the most was the term “perceived obsolescence” and the authors’ reference to the declining level of happiness of nations when it was introduced and encouraged as a means of stimulating the economy after World War II. (Sounds like a science fiction movie, right?)

What is perceived obsolescence? The short answer, according to Annie, is the constantly changing appearance of things to convince us to throw out perfectly good things and buy new things. How do they do that? I think there is a part of us that knows. Of course it’s everywhere, but the biggest contributor is television and advertising. We may not be aware of the huge and growing number of these messages that we are exposed to on a daily basis.

So how can we stop this?

To start, turn off the television.; that incredible and powerful negative feed that is loaded with tactics and messages to make you dissatisfied with what you have, where you live, what you wear and who you are so that you buy their latest magic solution to make you right again. Is it any wonder there are so many who don’t seem to know what will make them happy and when? Why are they afraid to go after him if he doesn’t fit any of the latest stereotypes?

Second, stop comparing. One of the main inferences in these messages is to compare yourself or what you have with the latest version of ideal. Comparing yourself, your ideas, or goals to others only makes you feel insecure, stifles your creativity, and lowers your self-esteem. Do not listen! Always remember that there is no one else like you; You are unique and that makes you very special.

One of the perks of being a certain age is the benefit of hindsight and knowing the many regrets of following group advice without even wondering, considering, or questioning where it came from and whether it’s right for you. When you find your dream; don’t let anyone change it. Dare, take care of it and rediscover that precious, powerful and natural childhood delight of cultivating it your way.

It’s the ride! Follow your dreams and success will be the likely destination.