There was a time in my life when I had no one to support me. He was alone and helpless, grieving for the things he thought were most important, disappointed in people whose presence at times like these he had taken for granted. My expectations of them were so high that they had become beliefs. Little did I know the world doesn’t work like that, it never did. No one showed up to give me a hand and pull me out of the pit of darkness and despair. I thought I was helpless, but I never thought that this was exactly the help I needed at the time: to be left alone to struggle with the circumstances I found myself in, due to my own actions.
“Karma is a bitch,” they say. I do not agree. Karma is a much needed experience of being served what you truly deserve and in my case, a kick in the stomach to wake me up from the deep sleep of illusion and face reality as if I had opened my eyes for the first time to see things as they were. they really are: stern and ruthlessly pragmatic. The resentment I felt for those I hoped would be on my side slowly faded and I was left with nothing but enlightenment that was going to help me so much in the quest to fulfill my life’s dreams, this time, on my own without a second thought.
Life has its unique ways of teaching those who are not wise enough to perceive things as they are instead of as they should be, for their own emotional comfort. It seemed like a big deal at the time, but it was just a reality check I was facing. I learned to stop being pathetic, to be at someone else’s mercy.
I realized that when people say they like you, they are talking about your outer cover. It has nothing to do with your true self or inner soul. No one cares about a man who flaunts all of his secrets on full display. It is the curiosity to know things about you that keeps them chasing you. The anticipation of what it would be like to be with you, get to know you more, and have the secrets of your life revealed page by page is what makes you interesting. This is exactly what makes you nice and lovable.
Who will watch a movie that is predictable from the first frame to the last? Your life is one of those movies. It’s up to you to make it unpredictable or boring. You are never in a position to blame someone else for the consequences of your own actions. Whatever you get, you totally deserve it. If anyone can make sure you don’t get hurt again, it’s only you. If you delegate this power to another person, you are setting yourself up for a painful kick in the balls.
I learned to differentiate between what I really need and what I had deluded myself into believing I needed, only to be surrounded by people whose company I used to be in, trying to gain some sympathy for my sufferings, which were really nothing. I couldn’t drive on my own.
Habit is a poisonous thing. It makes you weak and defenseless. I learned to kick the habit of trying to be with people instead of walking alone, which was unavoidable. Once I did that, I realized that I really didn’t need anyone else to do what I needed to do. Anyway I was able to do it.
At this point, I learned to let go. And letting go was all I did for a while. I used to be afraid of being alone because it made me feel pathetic, but once I saw people for who they really were, I began to yearn to be alone.
I made a promise to myself to never be pathetic again and to do everything in my power to avoid things that undermine my own interests and I have every intention of keeping that promise. When you really love someone, you can go to great lengths to keep the promises you’ve made to them and if there’s one person I really love, it’s me. Who better understands your emotional needs than yourself and why trust others when the only person who is going to be by your side in the moment of need is you.
Once you learn to live on your own, you become interesting to people again. Just think about it-There is a man who has everything he needs and seems to know how to get what he wants without any outside help. Who wouldn’t find it interesting? The suspense of the movie of his life is starting to draw people in and they wouldn’t want to leave him alone even if he wants to. But beware, as this is the same trap you fell into the first time. It’s best to ignore what interests them and focus on what you want.
The lesson life has taught me is that being alone is not helpless and pathetic, it is, in fact, amazing. And you don’t have to be Barney Stinson to know how to be legendary and awesome.
