Women’s Month – Reclaiming beauty, redefining success
It felt like cold water slapping my face. The first time I saw it, it made me feel uncomfortable. The second time, I cried. Now I am full of positive energy about healthy girl power and I want to share that with you.
“It” is a 60-second video on CampaignforRealBeauty.com. Go to “Evolution Movie” and click watch movie (note: I’m not talking about the auto-playing pro-age video).
You will see that this film represents a form of violence against girls (and women) that we need to be more aware of.
Research* reveals the good, the bad, and the…
o Dr. Susie Orbach has found that spending just three minutes looking at fashion magazines lowers the self-esteem of 80% of women.
o Distorted expectations and pressures of physical beauty affect self-esteem. This leads to introversion, withdrawal from normal life, and squandering of potential.
o 6 out of 10 girls think that “they would be happy if they were thinner”
Like many of you, I remember being a child, cruelly teased for my appearance almost every day at school. Now I can appreciate that this encouraged me to develop my intelligence and other talents. Today my heart goes out to any girl who feels discouraged by the pressure of the media that feels more intense than in my younger days. (When I was twenty, a friend encouraged me to get a nose job, which helped remove a roadblock to my confidence.)
Good news*:
o 87% of women agree that “a woman can look beautiful at any age” and 81% agree that “every woman has something beautiful about her.”
o 75% of women agree that beauty does not come from their appearance, but from their spirit and love of life.
Author and feminist Naomi Wolf says that in 1991 most American women still felt bad about not looking like the skinny blonde Barbie with big breasts. She writes that women now “DO look beautiful when they are loved or engaged in meaningful activities, engaging in spiritual experiences, helping others, or doing creative work.” Wolf astutely points out that when women are no longer concerned with “external shortcomings, they can move forward energetically with their internal development and creativity.” I would add, so they can wake up inspired and make a difference in the world while feeling more in love with their lives.
This leads us not only to challenge what defines beauty, but what is true success?
Studies show that 80% of professionals say balance and satisfaction are top priorities. However, in real life, they still don’t experience enough balance or meaning. Professionals come to me in search of their higher purpose for much more than just higher salaries.
A healthy revolution is brewing: becoming whole and experiencing a harmony between who you are deep down inside and how you function in the outside world. “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” has a renewed echo in our hearts for the 21st century. The first feminist initiatives were about “Life”: I exist. I have something to say in the world. I count and get a vote. “Freedom” overlaps nicely with the drive for freedom to seek financial independence and equal opportunity to compete for the corner office. Now, we have a great opportunity to renew “The Pursuit of Happiness”. Pray that we’ll be wise about what “happiness” entails and realize that whoever dies with the most toys is probably spending too much time on eBay.
More women are ready to redefine success to include wellness, spirituality, and meaningful work rather than sacrifice these elements as they attempt to climb the ladder and compete in ways that are often out of sync with their true nature. Who wants to keep pushing to break a glass ceiling if it creates more stress and a broken spirit? We are on the threshold of redefining success and regaining joy.
One of my clients, a 40-year-old television producer, puts it this way: “Now I define my own success. I used to put a lot of energy into pushing for the next promotion, competing, and getting caught up in what everyone else thought was the success. I have now stopped chasing in favor of seeking. I realize that, yes, you can have a fulfilling job, be a mother, and not kill yourself, as long as you define success yourself.” Instead of pushing for network executive titles, she is now more intrigued with making a difference in the lives of others, especially girls’ education.
If you are reading this, you are a person of power. You have choices to make and a voice to use toward a world that works for all of us. What would you like to experience for your own unique joyous success story?
