Good behavior is just as important at sporting events as it is at any other time. Being kind and considerate of the feelings of others makes the experience of attending a game a positive one for everyone involved. (Also, when we make our players feel good about what they’re doing, they’re much more likely to perform well, and maybe even win, than if we make them feel bad.)

Idiom:
Having a strong repertoire of the language we expect and want from our children empowers them to do the right thing. Here are some suggestions of positive things we can all say at sporting events. (A positive tone of voice is important; each of these can become negative with a negative tone of voice, so modeling includes a positive tone of voice.)

• “Good hit!” “Big kick!” “Way to go!” “Good game!” “Well done!”
• “Good effort!” “Nice try!” “Getting better!” “It’s okay!”
• “Ooo that was close!” “Almost!” “We’ll get them next time!”
• “Dig deep!” “Do not give up!” “Go, ___!” “You can do it!”

working out:

We can turn sporting events on television into opportunities for character development. Before watching a game on TV, talk about positive clapping and take turns with your kids naming positive things to say during a game.

Keep score, mark each time your child gives a positive cheer, and reinforce them with “Great, cheers!” or “way to be positive!” If your child slips up and says something negative, say, “Wow, how can you turn that into a cheer of support?” And then give your child a high-five and “good job turning that around!”

At the end of the game, tell them how proud you are, “look at ALL the positive things you could think of to say.” To further reinforce the positives, he asks, “How did you feel? Did you feel any different when you accidentally said something that wasn’t positive?”

car talk:
Have a conversation with your child about behavior at sporting events. Ask what behavior they like to be around and what they don’t. Ask how the various behaviors they describe make them feel, and how they might make others feel. Ask what the consequences might be if everyone behaved well (or misbehaved) at sporting events. Talk about how proud it makes you feel to see them behaving nicely. Ask them how they feel when they are nice to others. Ask them if they think their teammates can perform at their best if people around them yell negative things at them.

A Note on “Blame the Referee”
It’s easy to blame the referee when things don’t go well for our team, but the referee’s job is important and probably the most difficult in the game. Who, really, can watch EVERYTHING that happens from ALL ANGLES at the same time? No one. They try to be fair. We need to keep that in mind and explain it to our children as well.

Be patient and be as consistent as possible. The rewards for good behavior are well worth the effort.