“Today I will meet cruel men, cowards and liars, envious and drunkards. They will be like this because they do not know what is good and what is bad. This is an evil that has fallen on them, not on me. They are worthy of pity” .

CS Lewis’s book Til We Have Faces reads more like a philosophy dissertation than a fictional tale. By writing this statement, what he’s actually saying is that people are going to be mean, they’re going to say things you don’t like. They could go into a jealous rage or abandon you in your hour of need. But the important thing is to avoid getting angry or upset in any way. Stay on a higher plane. Don’t feel remorse, just feel sorry that their life is so difficult that they have to react so fiercely.

When someone shows anger at you, it is more a reflection of their own pain than your own wrongdoing. While it’s worth looking at your own actions to make sure you’re not actually doing anything wrong, it’s not worth getting mad about. Don’t get angry, instead ask yourself what could be most deeply wrong with them. It’s sadder to see people bitter and know that you can’t do anything to help them.

Imagine how different things would be if we could follow CS Lewis’s belief. It’s time to ditch the saying “Don’t be angry, get even” and try something more like “Don’t be angry, offer sympathy.”