“He who finds a wife finds something good,
and obtain the favor of the Lord.”
~Proverbs 18:22 (NRSV)
The phrase “happy wife, happy life” comes from the Bollywood movie, Girlfriend and Prejudice (2004), and while it can easily be taken as a condescending offense against wives, there is another vital truth, indeed I believe biblical, behind such a sentence: a truth that highlights the need for husbands to treat their wives as princess.
Being a husband, for example, might seem like an impossible task: treating the love of your life like a princess, despite how carelessly she treats him. But the gospel principle that resonates in the Bible is that we should serve our contemporaries as if we were serving God, without conditions. God takes care of the rest.
We could imagine what it would be like for a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, particularly in the things he could do for her, the time he could give, and the affection in serving her as a princess should be served. How could she look?
Being royal, princesses are entitled to royal treatment, and with the privilege of royal position, always comes honor. She must never be separated from honor. No matter the circumstances, she is owed respect. (However, we husbands will never fully understand it, but our intention is what is important.)
THE TRUTH ABOUT WIVES FOR HUSBANDS
Ask any single man this question: how beautiful is the woman you would like to marry? They will not be able to find satisfactory words to describe such a woman. They would do anything for her. Single men hate to see married women treated rudely, disrespected and abandoned. They see an ungrateful man taking care of his wife. Come to a coward.
Due to the phenomenon known as “male [white] privilege” most women are disadvantaged, not just physically, compared to men. As a result, most women learn to expect less than most men. This can be a hard truth to accept. the truth is that women are generally more virtuous and deserve more respect (we could call it “love”) than most men are willing to give them.
I can say from personal experience that it has been difficult to learn the importance of treating my wife like a princess. Too often I have fallen into the trap of seeing us as equals. But of course this is not entirely correct. Any man with daughters would agree. We want our girls, our women, to be treated in a special way; for good reason.
Men who do not treat their wives properly reflect an ungodly society, as do those who neglect the outcast.
But, a man who finds a wife finds something good, according to the Word of God. He finds grace in the sight of God. In a very similar proverb (Proverbs 8:35), he who finds Wisdom finds grace in the sight of God. When a man marries a woman, he is more blessed than he imagines, but he may not know it for years, if he ever does. We must pray that more husbands will see God’s revelation on this matter and intend to be a true prince to their wives.
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When a man learns to treat his wife in a way that makes her happy, he has a happy life. This is a life that both she and he deserve. But a man must make his wife happy first. He takes the initiative. That is his job.
© 2013 SJ Wickham.
