Conversations can be hard to start on your first date. People often get so nervous that they are afraid to say something silly, something offensive, or they are too busy thinking of something to say and end up in awkward moments of silence. The key to remember is: this person wouldn’t be sitting here meeting you for a date if they didn’t want to see you, talk to you, and get to know you! Any kind of conversation can lead to another, and another, and another; so all you need is a great icebreaker and voila!

It’s often very easy to have a few pre-planned questions in mind and start throwing them at your date one after another. However, try and let the conversation flow naturally; try not to systematically ask for too much. Your date should be fun and lighthearted, not like an interrogation or a job interview.

Rules

• Don’t make your date feel like you’re not there

Look around and talk about the food, the place, but keep this to a minimum. You need to be present for the date, don’t give the impression that your mind is somewhere else or that you want to BE somewhere else!

• Don’t scare them by talking too long.

A light conversation is better to start. Music and movies they like is always a big topic and they ask about their day or weekend. Don’t be too serious, but strike a balance. No one wants an immature date incapable of carrying on a decent conversation. However, getting bogged down in minor details about your job, aspirations, siblings, and lifestyle can be quite tiresome for a first date.

• don’t lie to impress

this is where you do you have to think long term. Lying will only catch you later, unless it’s a very small white lie that you can laugh at in the future. See what we recommend here.

• Don’t talk about controversial topics.

Unsurprisingly, talking about politics or religion is a bit of a no-go area on a first date. It can lead to disagreements, which in turn can lead to arguments, which could make you go home sooner than you think!

• Don’t talk about past relationships.

Talking about your ex will only sink you into a big hole. Bringing up happy past memories you had with your ex will be the most ridiculous thing you can do on a first date, and badmouthing them will make you sound bitter. In fact, either one of you will give them the impression that you’re not over the relationship.

• Talk about your online profile

It’s easy for everyone to talk about themselves, so bring up a few points you’ve read on their profile. This will show that you are very interested and attentive, as well as give the conversation a good boost.

• give them compliments

A couple of compliments here and there never hurt anyone. If you really think your date looks hot, say so. It will make them feel good and that it will be worth all the effort they have put in. However, be careful not to be too flattering as it can come off as fake, and don’t be sleazy either, but a compliment or two can be very charming and add a touch of flirty demeanor.

• Speak up if you have no idea what they are talking about

It’s better to laugh it off and say if you’re not sure, rather than let them continue and find yourself unable to answer any questions they may have regarding what they’ve said. You won’t look stupid if you’re just honest!

• listen

Listening to the other person is just as important as talking to them. Try not to interrupt them, as it will come off as rude and abrupt instead of nervous.

• Laugh and tell jokes

As mentioned, it’s always good to keep things light-hearted and fun. Don’t be shy to laugh or tell jokes; of course, avoid the ones that might offend you! You never know they might fall in love with your smile!

The topics you can mention can range from movies to family to music to your work industry. It all depends on the time and the location. You can’t randomly start talking about the zoo when you walk into a bar. Unless of course the bar you go to is full of animals! But remember, if spontaneity and randomness are for you, and they’ve stood out on your profile, then don’t be too shy to show it! Whatever the circumstance, just be YOU.

Here is an interesting quote to leave you:

“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.“

truman cloak

Leaving all the conversation to your date will be boring for them and exhausting for you to keep nodding off, so relax and let the conversation flow!