On the island of St. Kitts in the Caribbean, I once saw a sign in a tourist store that read: “Imagination prepares us to see a reality that we have yet to create.” This can be interpreted in two ways: you can use your imagination to exaggerate your fear and increase your physiological response (as most of us do automatically), or you can use your imagination to help solve problems.

This is exactly what imagination can do – help you create a specific event or reality to cope with your great loss. We constantly think in images. You have the option of creating images the way you know you have to deal with death and all the changes it demands. Repeating and rehearsing the images, and seeing yourself dealing with new challenges, is a powerful motivating force in dealing with pain.

Here are some examples of how to use your imagination to cope with loss.

1. If you have unfinished business with the deceased, use your imagination to seek forgiveness. Find a quiet place and imagine your loved one sitting across from you. See him in his favorite outfit. Tell the person exactly how you feel. Say you’re sorry or ask for forgiveness, or both.

2. If you are anxious to meet friends or relatives that you have not seen for a long period of time, create the scene of the encounter in your mind. Try different ways you want to greet them and specifically the words or phrases you will use. Say the words out loud as if they were all in front of you.

3. Use your imagination to create a setting to relax and reduce stress. You can imagine being in a quiet natural environment, hearing birds, seeing butterflies, and smelling honeysuckle. Or you can imagine the muscles in your body releasing their tension like a rubber band that has been stretched and is slowly releasing.

The power of your creativity can help you relax wherever you are. Practice remembered tranquility. Those images will directly affect your body.

4. Start each morning by imagining the one thing you want to deal with on that particular day. If you have a task or obligation that you are not looking forward to, practice how you will do it, what you will say to yourself, the attitude you will take, and see yourself doing it with minimal discomfort.

5. Use your imagination to reach a goal you have to cope with your loss. Define the goal, whatever it is (like spending a particular day). Then gather information on how you will work to achieve it and deliver it to your imagination. Rehearse the specific behaviors you will use.

6. Imagine a tradition that you would like to start to honor your loved one. For a particular anniversary or holiday, decide on a way to recognize and honor it. This can be monthly or yearly or on all holidays, whatever your desire. For example, you might plan to eat out for celebration, take a trip, or have a family outing. Use your imagination to discover the many possibilities for making tradition.

7. Use your imagination to deal with concerns. If you know that you are going to worry about certain issues that will come up, plan to deal with that concern beforehand. Who should you be with to share your concern? What will you do if your concern comes true? How would you handle the worst case scenario? Create your worry reduction strategy, practice it internally, and then let it go and get on with your duties.

8. If you have a dream about your loved one (as many do), later in the day find a time when you can relax and go back to sleep. Visualize all the details of the dream. Talk to your loved one how you would like it if the dream were happening now. Say what you feel. Ask questions and wait for answers. Say thank you or I love you. See the results of your dream in a positive and inspiring way.

9. Imagine how you will cope the first time you encounter a situation where your loved one would normally have been with you. Imagine how you would like to approach it, where it will be, who will be there, and what it will say. Again, take an assertive stance, seeing yourself coping well with the situation. And create more than one response to use.

In short, you can use your imagination in many ways to create a better future and improve the quality of life. Follow this effective four-step routine: set a goal, make a plan using your imagination, take action (practice, rehearse, then do it), and be persistent. Persistent belief in what you are doing will bring about what you have planned.

Let your imagination positively influence your unconscious, provide you with new ideas, and you will surely spend your dark night. Make the decision now to consciously use your imagination, which Einstein long ago said is “more important than knowledge.”