“If you’re completely wrapped up in yourself, you’re overdressed.” ~Kate Halverson
Hmmm, Ego. We don’t really talk about that, do we? Now, when I talk about the ego, I mean the lower self, the jealous one, the selfish one, the righteous one, etc. It’s not you. You understand, don’t you? It’s not you! It’s just a part of you, but it’s not who you are.
Who you are is much bigger than that, much more than that.
The point is that if you live in your ego, life is bad! I’m sorry, but it is! But hey, that’s just my opinion – let’s see how you know that the ego is the driving force of your life:
1. You always compare yourself to others.
The ego loves to do this! The ego thinks you are in competition with everyone else on the planet. Think that as long as you’re doing ‘better’ than someone else, then you must be fine. You may wish to be prettier, slimmer, smarter, richer or more successful… you may wish for a better car, float, horse, house. But you get that no matter what…someone else will have something you don’t have, and you’ll never be satisfied, no matter how much you have or how good you look.
2. You frequently judge or criticize others
Well, we all know we shouldn’t… and we all know we do. It is human nature to judge and criticize, but it does not need to be expressed or empowered. The ego likes to criticize in order to show that it knows better. He also likes to put others down, so he can be lofty, but really all he’s trying to do is cover up a lack of self-esteem.
3. You are worried about status.
The ego wants to know your place in this world. He cares if someone is promoted over you, if you should be called Dr, or CEO… he also likes material possessions to show that you deserve your middle or upper class social status. Again, titles and status mean nothing to your true self and to others living in your true self.
4. You like to argue that you are right and others are wrong
Why?… I like to do this with my husband! I especially like it if he doesn’t agree… I go on and on, with more arguments to support my case… The funny thing is, in the end, do you know what you’re arguing about?
A wonderful story about this is that there is a couple in a restaurant. The man says: what do you think is in this steak sauce? is it pepper? The wife says that she thinks they are mustard seeds. They argue about the taste, the appearance, the shape of the black things in the sauce… finally the man asks the waiter to come over and ask him. The waiter asks the chef, and sure enough it is pepper. The man is triumphant! I TOLD YOU it was pepper. So he ‘wins’…or does he? The woman doesn’t talk to him for the rest of the night and let’s just say he’s not “lucky” that night either! So he remembers: the next time you are arguing about something. The fact is do you want to be loved, or do you want to be right? Because you can rarely be both.
5. You are obsessed with your appearance
Are you who you look like? Should you be loved or hated, based on how many wrinkles you have, what size clothes you have, or what fashion you wear? It’s okay to take pride in your appearance. You must make an effort to be clean and well groomed. But obsessing about being a size 8 and not 10, or thinking about botox… and you’re still 20! Well that’s your ego saying no one will love me for who I am, so maybe they can love me for how I look. The problem is that when your appearance fades, you will worry and so will love. Who wants to be loved just for what it looks like? I love hanging out in my faded sweatpants with my husband or best friend! They love me unconditionally for exactly who I am, the real me, not what I look like.
6. You live only in the future or in the past
The ego loves this! It’s what makes you relive the past over and over again! All your mistakes, all your missed opportunities, all the negative things, just repeat and repeat. Although there is nothing you can do about it now. Then it takes you into the future and tells you all the bad things that ‘could’ happen, could happen, so you can worry and stress, even though none of it has happened yet, and most probably won’t.
So if we are not going to live in our ego, where are we going to live? The higher self is felt more when you are in the present moment. There is nothing better than focusing on the present, no past, no future – what is happening and what you are experiencing RIGHT NOW.
We talk about ego on my Dream Team show, but we have another name for it! But you learn that it’s not about denying that you have an ego! We all have an ego, and it constantly tells us its nonsense. The important thing is – don’t indulge. Think of him as a little kid, he hasn’t evolved, he doesn’t know any better, but you do, and you don’t need to listen to him. He never tells the truth anyway.
I’d love to hear how you’ve ‘tamed’ your ego and gone on to live a fuller, more enjoyable life and better driving results!
