Reward systems for children are based on the principles of behaviorism. John B. Watson (1878-1958) advocated the use of conditioning principles in parenting (Psychological Care of Babies and Children, 1913). Burrhus F. Skinner (1904-1990) described the ‘operant conditioning theory’: in experiments with animals, he discovered that behavior could be stimulated by linking positive reinforcement to the behaviour, such as a compliment or a gift. Desired behavior will be displayed more often when animals and humans notice that certain behavior consistently leads to pleasant consequences. These learning principles are valid for everyone, both adults and children. Think, for example, about how a compliment from your boss can motivate you more at work. This theory, along with Pavlov’s (1849-1936) theory of classical conditioning, formed the basis of behaviorism/behavioral psychology, which can be found in many psychology books and is practiced by psychologists. A behavior system for children can be part of behavior therapy and is often called a “token economy system.”
Operant conditioning theory also describes that unwanted behavior can be discouraged with punishment, however this is not part of this reward program. Among other things, because it is assumed that learning new behaviors requires a positive environment and reward is a more powerful means than punishment. Negative attention through punishment can work adversely and can even empower children.
Also, through punishment you learn what you can’t do, but not what you should do. In a positive environment, children gain more confidence in taking the next step. After successful experiences, self-esteem grows and the child finds pleasure in learning. If the child shows a lot of negative behavior, the reward can be given at a time when the negative behavior is absent, for example, when there has been no discussion for an hour.
Of course, children also need limits and rules. If your child displays the unwanted behavior (contrary to the behavior being practiced) during the rewards program, we recommend a time out (ignoring the unwanted behavior). If you wish to comment, please react neutrally. For example, if your son has wet his pants, name him with a neutral tone, ‘You just wet your pants, go and put on some clean underpants.’
Behavior therapists also talk about the principle of ‘shaping and chaining’, whereby behavior is broken down into small intermediate steps and slowly polished until mastered. Also, children learn best in a social environment, imitating others. That is why it is also very important to set a good example (model).
Arguments against a points reward system: aspects to consider
In the Dutch book ‘Liefdevol opvoeden, een kunst’ (Parenting with love, an art) it is recommended to reward (materially) only in exceptional situations. If you reward (materially) for too long, the child may experience this as a means of coercion, which is destructive to intrinsic motivation (inner will). Furthermore, after an act there are automatically elements of reward and punishment, from which the child can learn. If, for example, a child is loafing in the morning and is late for school, the teacher will notice. If you don’t throw your clothes in the laundry basket, they will still be dirty the next day. The experience of these natural consequences is very important to the learning process. Cladder, Nijhof-Huysse, and Mulder (2009) also give preference to letting natural consequences teach: a reward system for children is meant to be a temporary help. Furthermore, Eva Kessler (2008) calls punishing and rewarding ‘a condescending signal’: she gives preference to standing next to the child rather than above him.
Some parents believe that children should obey without receiving extras. A critical observation with this is that it is not intended to be a ‘kickback system’, but rather a temporary stimulus to learn. Experience learns that children show the learned behavior with pleasure after the program. This is, however, one of the reasons why it is important to give mainly social rewards (eg riding bikes together/doing crafts) and few material rewards.
