Circa 1980’s now imagine the only lonely sex shop in my small hometown. The entire experience of walking in, receiving my gag gift, and leaving without being noticed by passers-by on the street was a terribly embarrassing experience for a 19-year-old.
The sex shops of yesteryear have proven their reputation for being dingy and dirty. With its frosted glass windows hiding a dark and smelly interior filled with plenty of hardcore porn. The sleazy men who came in had questionable reputations. No woman with an ounce of self-respect would get caught up in such an establishment.
However, you may have noticed that the weather has changed. Slowly forward-thinking store owners have realized where the buying power is and have been creating a new niche market: women’s sex goods stores.
The first to open its doors was Eve’s Garden in New York, founded in 1974 by women’s rights activist Dell Williams. According to the Eve’s Garden website, Williams was so embarrassed walking into a department store and buying a handheld vibrator that it prompted her to fight for women’s sexual rights.
Then, in 1977, across the coast from San Francisco, feminist Joani Blank was appalled by the lack of resources for women seeking accurate sexual information and good-quality sex toys. She opened Good Vibrations.
The challenge in the smaller towns was that women like to group together, discuss, and get positive reinforcement when they try something new. The old retail model is skewed toward men, who don’t mind walking into a sex shop alone. And women did not bite.
The woman’s solution? Her friends in the living room of her house would get together so they could buy sex toys at house parties. Sex toy parties are similar to Tupperware parties, except they sell all kinds of sex toys and paraphernalia.
However, after a few years of seeing sales soar with house parties, the sex toy industry realized that women were the main buyers of items. In the last five to ten years, every major city has seen a new retail model that has built stores exclusively according to women’s preferences.
A colleague of mine, John Ince, author of The Politics of Lust, owns and operates The Art of Loving in downtown Vancouver. His shop is what he would definitely classify as the new wave of sex shops.
The first time I walked into Ince’s store, it was a totally different experience than the shoddy store of yesteryear. It has the look and feel of an art gallery with open ceilings, large sunlit windows, hardwood floors, plants, and comfortable leather capes. Immediately after crossing the main entrance, I saw an area displaying tasteful erotic art.
Up the stairs to the right were shelves of sex-positive books. Sex toy products were displayed on the left side, which customers could pick up and review. With each product, there was a description of how to use it, as well as a troubleshooting guide for any health issues customers might have. The staff were relaxed and ready to answer any questions without judgment.
I spoke with Ince about his business and his clientele. He said that 70% of his clients are women, with an average age ranging from 28 to 45 years. John believes that people from all economic backgrounds visit his store and spend an average of $40 to $60 per visit. Women tend to buy smaller items, and as they get more comfortable, move on to more expensive items, like The Rabbit (made famous by Charlotte in Sex and the City).
Education is a high mandate for Ince, and his store gives 60 to 70 sexuality seminars a year. Obviously, the more educated a woman is about her sexuality, the more comfortable she will feel and, consequently, the more likely she is to buy sex toys.
If you’re still not sure if sex shops are for you, let’s see what everyone else is doing. Durex Condom’s 2003 Global Sex Survey cited the percentage of Americans who use vibrators to improve their sex lives at 49%. The Babes in Toyland website states that the number of vibrators sold when they first opened in 1993 was 500; in 2004, the number increased to 83,250.
However, with all this progress from sex shops that really aren’t so sleazy anymore, the bulk of sex toy sales is still online. I guess people appreciate the anonymity, the non-stigma attached to brown paper packaging.
In closing, the Good Vibrations website states, “We look forward to the day when talking about sex, buying sex toys, and teaching our kids about sex is so easy, so comfortable, and so commonplace that we take it for granted.” Amen.
Isn’t it time you went out and visited your local sex store?
