Like most sex therapists, January is the time my phone fires up with couples calls. Why? Because couples who habitually neglect their sex lives struggle even more during the holidays. So many excuses available: shopping, baking, caroling, wrapping and mailing. My God, how can you fit into sex with so much going on?

I’ll tell you:

1. Give sex a place on your schedule. Yes, look in your calendar and mark with a little heart or an “S” for “sex” any place you can find where you and your partner can find a little time to love.

2. Just say no. No to sex! Say no to a party, baking cookies, or singing Christmas carols. You don’t have to go to everything just because you’re invited, and store bought is just as good as baked most of the time. Save some energy for you and your partner.

3. Be a little naughty. Santa will still be nice. What do you want for Christmas? Tell your partner in a love note and leave it with a hot chocolate gift card.

4. Send the children to Grandma’s house, or anywhere someone else takes them. Go shopping for a night on the town. Go early and have a dinner reservation ready at a romantic restaurant.

5. If you can hide a gift as big as a ping pong table, you can hide sex. Can you sneak out during a party and find a place to at least do a little foreplay?

6. Rent a cabin instead of a hotel room for that ski trip so you and your partner have your own private room. See if you can get one with a fireplace in the master bedroom.

7. Leave a special holiday breakfast for the kids so the two of you can have an early morning date.

Look, it’s not that hard. Don’t you deserve a happy holiday too?