If you are a Black woman who supports interracial dating or a Black woman who has already entered into an interracial dating relationship, you may receive statements of concern from other Black people, both strangers and close family members, who claim that Black women who have interracial dating will destroy the black community. And for a moment you might doubt whether that statement is false. It’s important to realize at this point that you’ve simply been conditioned to do it, because you’re a woman and because you’re black.
Women of all racial categories have been conditioned by male-dominated societies for centuries. If you stop and think about the expectations that society has placed on women, you’ll see that it’s all about pleasing and comforting the men in society, that is, being a sexual object, keeping a clean house, and cooking hot meals. Unfortunately, many black women dutifully assume their roles because they fear being left alone if they don’t. Even the women in your life can encourage you to take on roles that serve black men better than you do. Don’t listen to them. Those women have been conditioned. Black women who may be mocked or disgusted by another black woman enjoying the love, commitment, and happiness of a man outside of her race are really just going through the reasoning that men in her community programmed inside of her. That is why you should not feel anger towards her, but sympathy.
She has been programmed to think that only a black man could love her well, that only a black man would find her beautiful, that she should settle for a black man who does not meet her needs before accepting a man outside of her race who would meet her needs, that Black Love is supposed to be hurtful, unsatisfying, abusive and demeaning at times, and that she needs to give herself to men who have no intention of reciprocating. Too many black men want you to pause and think about their happiness before your own. They want you to feel like black women interracial dating will be the demise of the entire black community. Because? It’s because above all else, above your health and happiness, they want to have their freedom, and to do so, the women around them must take on all responsibilities, including the responsibility of keeping the black community together.
A selfish black man won’t have to do anything at all to earn himself sex, a clean home, and hot meals, if they can narrow your options down to him. So they can hide from you that it’s hard to find a good black man. So you should be lucky if you settle for crumbs. They will not need to respect you. They won’t have to hold down a job. They will not have to take care of their own children. They will not need to be faithful to you. In fact, they can date outside of their race and win I respect from other black men! They can make crime and the degradation of women the subject of every hip hop and R&B song and still He takes no responsibility for what he does to the black community. How liberating to be a self-centered black man when black women assume the roles they have established. And how harrowing it is for those same selfish black men to see a black woman realize that her options are broader and therefore better.
There is more to the definition of a man than being of the same race and having a penis. You need a man who loves you, who wants to take care of you financially and emotionally and does, and who doesn’t consider not supporting his family as an option. It’s just silly to add “his skin color should match yours” to that definition.
Date who deserves your love. If it turns out that this person is of a different race, he doesn’t feel guilty at all.
